Sometimes It Is Not Enough To Be Positive For Good Things To Happen

Besides being positive we need to have patience and strength, because if what we desire delay in arriving, and as we face negative situations, positive things will be all the more valuable.

Most of us have heard of positive psychology. Being positive is perhaps an attitude that some of us apply in our daily life to achieve happiness.

Since psychologist Martin Seligman wrote his book Learned Optimism in the 1990s, this approach has achieved remarkable presence and relevance in the publishing market and in the development world. staff.

The most interesting contribution that positive psychology brought us at the time was to look away from the pathological field towards internal forces.

This tool made it possible to promote concepts such as resilience, motivation, gratitude or emotional intelligence.

However, what at one point undoubtedly had its impact and relevance, now appears to be on the decline.

The reason is very simple. In these times of crisis, change, and social and economic ups and downs, it seems that positive thinking today lacks the luster it once had.

So much so that many psychologists and sociologists believe that it is time to end the “supremacy” of positive thinking in the field of personal development.

However, rather than refuse, it would be more a question of reformulating this approach. To understand that sometimes it is not enough to think positively to make things better on their own.

A positive approach does not always guarantee results

Positive thinking has long been seen as  a strategy for teaching us to be happy. To understand that with feelings like forgiveness, kindness or altruism, we can fight negative emotions like anger, rage, sadness …

Many are based on the well-known principle that “it is enough to change a thought to change an emotion”. When we change the frequency of our emotions, we can improve our reality.

While we find this diagram inspiring, the reality is much more complex. Life is made up of very subtle nuances, which we have all encountered on more than one occasion:

• When I am called for an interview, I think positively. I have confidence in myself and try to do my best. But that doesn’t guarantee they’ll hire me.
• I have always given the best to my partner, I have always had confidence in our project. I have been positive, courageous, considerate and communicative. However, none of this was enough to make the relationship last.
• I have a good education, have excellent grades and have always been the first in my promotions… But none of this has been enough to provide me with a good job.

But, there’s one thing you absolutely need to understand: Staying positive is and always will be good.

However, we must also learn to deal with the more negative and complex aspects of daily life.

Happiness has little “tricks” that must be accepted

Good things don’t always happen to those who deserve them the most. In addition, it sometimes happens that friends and family members, known for their kindness and nobility of heart, have had to face the most devastating situations.

Why is this happening?  Note that the famous law of attraction does not always work. It is not enough to desire, to think and sometimes to act in a certain way, for what we long for to happen.

Beyond thinking positively, we must learn to develop a strong, flexible, courageous and resilient attitude.

Books like The Trap of Happiness by Russ Harris explain it in a very simple and illustrative way:

• The society we live in “sells” us the idea that we need to surround ourselves with positive emotions, positive thoughts and happiness.
• If we get carried away by this idea, what will happen is that we will become so obsessed with the idea of ​​being happy, that we will not know how to face or deal with the frustration, the discomfort. and unpleasant emotions.

It is a principle that should never be overlooked, let alone underestimated the complexities of our present time, so competitive, changing and demanding and which forces us to face adversity almost every day.

I accept, I assume and I understand my negative emotions in order, then, to reinforce my positive emotions

I know there will be gray days, days when nothing works, days when we are rejected by others, where we make mistakes, where we lose everything, where we leave or we are left …

Days when we are forced to be strong, and not just “positive”.

• Knowing and understanding this is essential for our personal development.
• The one who is obsessed with happiness but who does not accept loss, disappointment or sadness, will not manage to grow, to move forward, to aspire to this calm and this inner well-being.

However, it is not a question of cultivating pessimism, but of being able to tolerate the negative ups and downs of life in order to face them, make the most of these moments of desolation and overcome them.

We must strive for happiness in a more mature, realistic and objective way.

In conclusion, we have to realize that sometimes it is not enough just to be positive for great things to happen.

Sometimes what happens is not positive, but you have to take it on board and manage it so that later what we deserve that is really beautiful happens.

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